Bad Pun Corner

Thanks to clashes with The Ashes currently taking place down under and the Rugby World Cup, football headline writers were having to fight for space on the back pages. Those at the Daily Express seemed most rattled, drafting in Maradona to help maintain their dominance of the punable real estate.

They led with ‘Hand Of Good’, which I think we can all agree is just bad, as a comment on England’s favourable draw for next year’s (real) World Cup.

Remaining in Russia, The Daily Star’s ‘Pog Of War’ has the potential to confuse its poor readers as to just which maxim it is attempting to play off, before explaining that the soon to be suspended star intends to take out his frustrations on CSKA Moscow. They make amends with the appalling but straight forward ‘Keep De Foot On De Gas..’ on the same page. Wow.

Not to be outdone, The Sun draw once again on Joe Hart, whose last name is like manna from heaven to our writers, to give us the rather pedestrian ‘Broken Hart’ but this is just a warm up for abbreviated horror that is ‘Clatt Let Tott Rot’.

Where is your God now?

Midfield General. (Ret.)