Bad Pun Corner

The fall-out from the Manchester derby produced this week’s storm in a teacup. Lukaku brought the milk and then seemed to go into a sulk about people noticing how little else he had brought to United’s recent performances. The Sun was there to take advantage, making use of an old Oasis song, no less, to do it.

Perhaps taking heart from The Sunday Times’ recent appearance, The Independent gave a wink in our direction. Bournemouth’s ‘Cherries picked off’ following their defeat by Liverpool referenced the coastal side’s willingness to attack even when faced with the awesome firepower that eventually dismantled them. Welcome to Bad Pun Corner, Indi, now watch how it’s done.

The midweek schedule posed another serious question to Manchester City as Spurs rolled into town. There had been some big talk before the game as Mauricio Pochettino, Tottenham’s manager, had promised to break out the tunes and turn it up to 11 in their dressing room if his side beat City. They did not. What his light-hearted declaration did provide, however, was an opening for perhaps the most egregious barrage of punning this series has yet witnessed. Murder indeed.

As Shaun Rider once spluttered - call the cops.

The Star’s comedown was pretty brutal too. This time it was a sulky City player throwing his knitwear to the ground prompting an interpretation of his manager’s reassurance. ‘I’m still in glove with Sergio’, says Guardiola. Of course he is.

Midfield General. (Ret.)