Bad Pun Corner

Football has long since colonised the weird limbo between Christmas and New Year with matches popping up at all times and often on successive days. With this embarrassment of material, I can only attribute holiday hangovers to the lacklustre punning our back pages have been providing. Most football writers looked to Jose Mourinho to pick-up their slack and, like the showman he is, he came through for them.

The Sun got the ball rolling with Mourinho’s jab at Jurgen Klopp; seemingly attempting to raise the drama of this budding rivalry to the level of opera by splashing ‘Jur not singing any more.’ I’m pretty sure neither the original comment on Paul Pogba’s fee to Manchester United nor The Special One’s reply was sung.

Mourinho, recently under fire for his perceived whinging, got some support from his team and the Metro who chipped in with ‘Lincredible.’ Before the man himself returned to mediate in a tussle of the Pauls, Scholes and Pogba, and come down decisively for the latter. You can’t tell me The Mirror hasn’t been saving this one up.

The Daily Star were happy to run with the United manager’s slap-downs to all and sundry but they put extra effort into covering Mark Hughes’ travails at Stoke City.

The Potters are having a bad enough time as it is. Hang your head Daily Star.

Midfield General. (Ret.)