Bad Pun Corner

'January. Sick and tired, you've been hanging on me,' as Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang may well be singing, right now (assuming he’s a fan of early 70s soft rock). Blue Horseshoe certainly loves the Dortmund player and so do our writers with The Express leading the pack with ‘Pierre We Go’ in anticipation of a move to Arsenal.

Following the Sanchez and Mikhitariyan swap, The Daily Star decided to focus on the Manchester end of the deal and how it might affect the squad. On the off-chance that this week’s Bad Pun Corner somehow makes it under the nose of Juan Mata; don’t worry, Juan, you’re not the only one that didn’t find this funny.

Marco Silva will similarly be hard-pressed to find the funny side of the week just gone. Watford dumped him and took square aim at Everton who are powering up the table as Watford tumble. The Express summarised the sacking with the succinct ‘Silva Bullet.’

That sort of restraint is just not in The Sun’s makeup. A day later they exploded a trio of bad, nonsensical and just plain ugly headlines that climaxed with the appalling ‘VVD Kops A Pasting.’

The occasion was Liverpool’s surprise loss to Swansea where they singled out Virgil van Dijk and reduced him to some sort of doomsday STI. With better finishing from his teammates he could have ended up with two assists in that game but that’s life on the back pages, Virgil.

Midfield General. (Ret.)